Rich family demand poorer sibling pitches in $1500 for mom's 70th birthday vacation, get offended when he refuses: 'They have to meet us at our level'

Is it fair for family members to expect thousands of dollars from each other on a whim?

One of the more awkward parts of being part of a family as an adult is that it is likely that there are going to be some differences in everybody's financial situation. Maybe somebody has fallen on hard times, or simply chose a career path that is not as well paid as other relatives. It is a pattern that exists in a lot of families.

When these kinds of discrepancies exist, it is only fair to adjust the expectations of what people can contribute financially. Nobody likes a person who chooses to be stingy with their supposed loved ones, but at the same time, it is unfair to expect that those who do not have that much money should be able to splash out all the time.

Depending on the situation, both richer and poorer relatives can face uncomfortable scenarios that are the result of their finances. For differing reasons, they can find that other people expect too much of them. There are plenty of ways for an individual to show that they care for their family other than money, but cold hard cash is often the preferred option.

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One man and his spouse were feeling the pressure, as they struggled to keep up with the expenses of spending time with their substantially richer families. Their relatives often had pricey restaurant meals or went on expensive holidays, expecting them to join in and pay their way as well.
This issue came to a head when the man's siblings began to plan an elaborate party for their mother's 70th birthday. His sister asked that he contribute $1500 to the celebrations, as well as pay for travel to the location.
He declined, telling her that he and his spouse were unable to afford it. His sister accused him of being unfair, and he wanted to know if that was true.
Am I wrong for telling my family that if they want us to do more with them, they have to meet us at our level?

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